You’re 3. You’re wearing jeans and a white turtleneck. And you can’t believe your dumb-ass aunt didn’t see that you ARE Batman.
You’re 3. You’re wearing jeans and a white turtleneck. And you can’t believe your dumb-ass aunt didn’t see that you ARE Batman.
So Sunday was our first wedding shower. People like to ask how we met.
I’m not sure.
We met about 10 years ago, somewhere on campus. We were dating other people.
The not-remembering used to bother me. Now I like to think we were living in V formation, starting far apart but always heading to the same place, [...]
Saturday I’m packing my overnight bag, and I can’t find my Not Getting Pregnant pills. They’re in the same bag as a box of All-Bran and a bottle of moisturizer–the basics for a hot-n-horny night of sweet, sweet lovin’. My apartment has four rooms. The bag should be obvious.
Two hours later, I’m on the phone [...]
“I actually made dinner last night. Cubed steak and mashed potatoes. And we had some porn.”
“Porn?”
“Rebecca. Corn. I haven’t seen a porno since my first husband took me to the drive-in to see that Deep Throat movie.”
Now, THIS is the kind of small talk I can totally get behind.
Pink. Felt. Father-daughter dancing shoes.